Sophia's Cinematic Inspirations

The first time he meets Estella, the little boy confesses,"I think she's a snob." But then he adds,"I think she's real pretty. I think she doesn't like me." Miss Havisham (or whatever her film name is) tells him "But you love her. She'll break your heart, it's a fact. It's tragic, you're already in love. And though I guarantee you that the girl will hurt you terribly, you'll still pursue her." On another occasion, Havisham confesses her master plot: "Estella will make men weep. She'll cut through them like a hot knife through butter. She'll break them-- I taught her well."

Years later, Estella makes a visit to Pip's little run-down shack of a home, and makes out with him-- only to stop abruptly, mid-kiss. She turns around and walks out on him, saying,"I have so many things I have to do." She then spends the next, oh, twenty years breaking his heart. The book was much better.

The film didn't have much of an impact on me. But I loved the book the first time I read it in ninth grade literature. There was something so fun in reading about someone, over a century ago, who had seen the dynamic of a woman who can make men become addicted to pain. Interestingly, our class did an exercise where we would assign different roles to students and then have them act out the passages as if they were a play. The day we did that exercise, everyone voted who should play what parts, and I was unanimously elected to read/act the Estella parts. I had never overtly discussed breaking boys' hearts with anyone in that class, but apparently they still thought of me as an "Estella" type. They were a good judge of character.

For everyone who's ever been leered at by a gross old man, this is a revenge fantasy come true. A 14 year old agrees to meet a pedophile she met on the Internet-- she drugs him, ties him up, and begins to prep him for surgical castration. It's a tense film, but I had to stifle laughter when I looked around and noticed the guy sitting next to me looked as if he were about to throw up. So, this isn't exactly a kinky film, but I had to give it a mention, because what's more wholesome than a girl abusing a pedophile?

So, I think this movie is utterly brilliant, as is every film I've seen by screenwriter Charlie Kaufmann. If his portrayal in Adaptation is any indication, he's exactly the kind of guy that would be obsessed with me. And Being John Malkovich is particularly riddled with a theme of desiring the unattainable woman.

Craig is a pathetic puppeteer trapped in a boring marriage to a pathetic wife. And then he meets Maxine-- a gorgeous and intelligent goddess. Craig becomes utterly obsessed. She humiliates him and eggs him on at the same time-- insulting him non-stop while still giving him just enough reward to keep him crawling back again and again.

For example-- Craig finally talks Maxine into letting him buy her a drink. When Craig tries to show off his "sensitive side" by talking about how he loves women for more than just their bodies, Maxine mocks him repeatedly, calling him a fag, and threatening to leaving. In desperation, he screams out "No, I love your tits. I want to fuck you." She confidently responds,"Good. Now we're getting somewhere. So, tell me about yourself. If you can get your mind out of the gutter long enough, Dog-Boy."

Puppetry is a major motif in Being John Malkovich. Craig is a puppeteer who finds he can control John Malkovich. And although the film never makes it explicit, Maxine is the true puppeteer, and Craig is her pathetic puppet. He hangs on her words, he sacrifices his whole life to please her, and she is always in total control.

There's a great scene where Craig runs towards Maxine, confessing his love as the elevator doors close. She just looks at him and says "Awwww", as in "That's Pathetic". She is so attractive, and both Craig and his wife are in love with her-- but Maxine shoots them both down in different ways and leave them alone together. She thrives on her ability to make others desire her: "Have you ever had two people look at you, with complete lust and devotion, through the same pair of eyes?" When she realizes that they can control Malkovich, her brain is filled with ideas for ways to humiliate Malkovich by exploiting her newfound control: "Let's have sex on his table and then make him eat an omelet off of it."

Maxine is very 'me'. She doesn't use whips or handcuffs-- she uses her mind and her body. Maxine is remorseless about her abilities. Maxine seems to make a sport out of controlling people. She also shares one of my other hobbies-- making both members of a couple fall in love with me at the same time.

I'm a big fan of Steve Martin, and I'm a big fan of Kathleen Turner. It was inevitable that I would love The Man with Two Brains. Steve Martin is Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr, a brilliant neurosurgeon and a grieving widower. Kathleen Turner is Dolores Benedict-- a manipulative and sadistic woman who marries wealthy men, cuckolds them, and destroys their lives.

From the first scene involving Dolores, I knew she was a woman after my own heart. She is in a mansion, seated at an elegant dining table with an elderly husband, who she has just prepared dinner for. The first time I saw the film, I knew it was a really old film, so I took the first seconds of this scene as a remnant of a patriarchal past. But then Dolores politely inquires,"What's the matter, honey? Don't you like your fish? It's fresh-- it came out of that tank right there". The truth, it is revealed to us, is that she has cooked her husband's beloved pet fish and served it to him as dinner.

Enraged, the husband exclaims,"Why do you do these terrible things?" She replies,"Because I love to see those veins in your temples throb! I get so excited when you get angry. It makes me feel so much closer to the reading of the will." The husband has a heart condition, and her emotional torture is meant to induce his death.

The husband leaps towards her in a murderous rage: "I'll kill you, you Devil Woman-- you'll never do this to another man". Dolores confidently replies,"Oh yes, I will-- I'll do it again and again and again". The husband, it would seem, is not her first victim, nor is she going to be his last. His pain and rage at this triggers the long-anticipated heart attack. As her husband dies, Dolores prances around and mocks him as he gasps his final breaths--- " Is Ookims having a massive heart attack? What a shame, with me so young and HOT!" It's a delicious scene.

Fate brings together Dolores and Dr. Hfuhruhurr, and she easily seduces him. Soon, the two are married. But Dr. Hfuhruhurr finds himself in a living hell-- married to the world's most beautiful and alluring woman, who refuses his every sexual advance. While Dolores secretly seduces the gorgeous Latin gardener, Dr. Hfuhruhurr approaches the brink of insanity from sexual deprivation. His job performance degrades, and he become more and more frazzled to the point of utter incompetence.

In another hilarious scene, Hfuhruhurr comes home to find his wife scantily clad in front of a strange man. "Quiet!" his wife commands. "This man is paying me fifteen thousand dollars just to touch my behind". When he protests, she accuses him of chauvinism: " You don't want me to work? Earn my own money? Have my own career?"

It's a hilarious film that reminds me of the way I treated males. There's always two guys--- the guy you actually want to make out with, and the guy who's totally in love with you and willing to do anything for you, even though he never gets any. I've known lots of guys like this, and it's amazing how far you can push them. As long as they think there's even a one-in-a-million chance that you'll one day like them, they'll shower you with favors, and even apologize for their tears when they cry because you make out with a real man right in front of them. It's fun being a Dolores, so long as you can avoid the "Elevator Killer".

I really liked Secretary. I think it's an awesome film that captures some aspects of kinky lifestyle in a way that Hollywood rarely grasps. But the part that I just love is how you have this swaggering lawyer type who thinks he's so big and bad just because he can dominate this one young girl who is fresh out of the mental hospital. I actually cheered at the screen when one day a real woman walks into the office, and we get to see the lawyer for what he is-- a neurotic little freak who's way out of his league. When he hears a real dominant woman is nearby, he literally hides in the closet, apparently terrified of the power she holds over him.

This is my experience with male dominants in general-- guys just aren't cut out for it. They can play the role, but they rarely have the kind of emotional insights to actually control a human being. In my experience, most "dominant" guys would instantly trade in their female loserslaves for even a HOPE of a chance at a real woman-- and it's hilarious to see a swaggering, "powerful" man just crumble and do anything to get your attention. So see Secretary-- it's romantic and wonderful-- and an accurate portrayal of the true cowardly and submissive nature of dominant men.