I watched this film when I was pretty little, and even though Sherry is just a very small part of the film, I remember being utterly fascinated with this role. How even though she hurt him, the man loved her, and he would give up his whole mission just to be near her. How he seemed to fear her and worship her at the same time. It's just a short little scene in a silly little film, but it made a huge impression on me.

Nobody's sexual identity comes with an instruction manual. You have to figure out as you go. If you're heterosexual, it's usually a straight and simple journey to understand what you enjoy. If you're gay, things might be a bit confusing at first. But when you are oddly turned on by the idea of hurting men and making them love you for it, it's hard to find good role models. Watching the character in this film is the first time I can remember being utterly captivated by the idea of making a man weak and helpless through desire. I don't know if I was genetically predisposed to like it or not-- but I definitely was already wired up to like it by the time I saw this film in second or third grade. Like the first time a pyromaniac sees a fire, this short little scene really made an impression on me.

So I hadn't originally planned on including music videos in this little series, but I really can't let the opportunity pass without documenting this little story, which so clearly illustrates that even as a young "tween" I was already quite "unique". So let me set the stage-- I'm roughly 11 or 12 years old. I'm watching a VH1 special which is showcasing really old music videos. It's really fun for me, because I've heard some of these songs my whole life, but in most cases, I'm only seeing the people who sang them for the very first time. I enjoyed giggling at a young Madonna and a black Michael Jackson.

I recorded the entire thing, such that I could watch it later at my leisure. And when I finally got around to view the special in its entirety, I find there is a true gem awaiting me. "I Know What Boys Like" by The Waitresses. A woman talks about how she knows what guys want. Some of the lyrics include gems like: "I know what boys like-- boys like me!". "I make them want me, I like to tease them. They want to touch me, I never let them." And of course "They get so angry, like pouty children denied their candy, I laugh right at them". The images are appropriate to the lyrics, as geeky looking boys are tormented by a confident woman.

I'd never seen or heard the song before, I'd never heard of The Waitresses, but I was hooked. I laughed and laughed and laughed at it. I showed my mom. I showed my friends. I played it over and over. I went to the music store and had them _order_ a CD of The Waitresses, hoping that all the songs were sung with the same attitude (they weren't :( ). I adored the song.

I kept the video tape of that VH1 special for years, until finally, it broke sometime when I was in high school, and I was out of luck until Youtube came along. That makes me sound more obsessive than I actually was-- I didn't watch the video THAT much-- mostly when I wanted to show it to a friend who hadn't seen it. And it was a brand-x tape, and tapes like that broke all the time, even when I didn't watch the hell out of them. But the fact that I kept the tape for so long and watched it till it broke just goes to show you-- I was always a little "different". Long before I had any inkling what a "slave" was, I knew, instinctively, that I wanted to turn boys into drooling slaves.