You just don't understand women. A woman is like this rose. Beautiful to the eye, a treat for all the senses, a living work of art. But if you try to possess us, to grab on to us and hold too tightly... well either through thorns or through words, you're going to get hurt.

I know you think that because we're married now, you should finally get to go all the way with me.

But the truth is, the only thing I ever found attractive about you is your bank statement.

Awww, you're crying! Did my words prick your delicate little heart? HAHAHA