Sophia: What is in a name?
she raises her voice in the public squares;
At the head of the noisy streets she speaks out,
In the gateways of the city she makes her speech:
How long, O Simple Ones, will you love being simple?
I will pour out my thoughts to you,
I will make my words known to you.
I also will laugh at your calamity.
I will mock you when misfortune strikes you,
I laugh when panic strikes you like a storm.
Book of Proverbs
 | A Sophia, by any other name |
"Sophia" isn't my actual name. You don't get to know my real name. When I decided to do this site, I had initially planned on just using my own name, but all my friends insisted that I shouldn't give out my real name to the type of freaks likely to frequent this site. Anyway, I ultimately decided to choose a pseudonym-- but what?
| The Art of Sexy Pseudonyms |
Looking through websites of people with similar interests as I, they always choose such melodramatic and trite pseudonyms. They're so unoriginal that they're practically a game of Mad Libs. First comes a title-- which basically boils down to one of the following: Mistress, Ms, Goddess,Princess, Lady, Domina, or Queen. If they're really fancy, they go with something like Duchess, Baroness, Seductress, or Madam. If you want to emphasis your youth, you might lean towards "Princess". If you want to highlight a traditional BDSM experience, you might go for "Mistress".
Once you have your title picked out, you choose a fake name to go with it. A fake name should be one that is exotic and uncommon-- because you want to establish how you're unique, just like all the other unique dominatrixes. You certainly don't want to go with an actual female name that a real person would have. So "Mary" is out-- but "Medusa" works. "Sarah" is too common-- try "Scarlett" or "Selina" instead. To check your work, you can ask yourself: "Have I ever even heard of a real person, currently alive, who has this name?". If the answer is no, you're on the right track.
| Untitled |
Anyway, looking through all those thousands upon thousands of dominatrix names, I knew I wanted to do something different. For one thing, I'm not a dominatrix. You can't hire me to tie you up using your mother's apron and spank you with coldcuts-- it's not happening. I'm not out to make money with this site, so I don't have to "advertise" using a "Mistress" at the front of my name, and I don't have to run focus groups to find the perfect name which will make people want to hire me or pay to look at my site. The supposed titles of power in fact only serve to commodify women, so that wimpy guys can order dominatrixes the same way they order meals from a fast food drive-through window-- "I'll take the young blonde Princess, two Asian Mistresses, and a black Goddess." Not for me, thank you.
Secondly, not to go off on a tangent, but I'm an anti-royalist. Monarchs, royalty, and nobility piss me off. When I watch a movie about "Marie Antoinette", I'm just waiting for her head to come off. When I read about the Romanovs, I'm just waiting for the Bolsheviks to show up. When I see people worshipping ugly old Princes Charles as if he were anything but a pathetic loser, I can't wait for the monarchy to be abolished.
I don't need to be called "Princess", "Queen", "Baroness", or "Lady". Guys don't worship me because I inherit some obscure title-- guys worship me because I am the embodiment of their desires. I don't need some family-based caste system for people to recognize my superiority-- I _am_ superior. I don't sit around waiting for society to GRANT me power-- my _will_ makes me a powerful woman. I don't hurt people because I got a permission slip from my parents-- I hurt people because I choose to. Nothing "happened" to me-- I happened.
Statue of Sophia,the
personification of Wisdom,
in Ephesos, Turkey.
| Sophia's Choice |
So, I wanted to pick a name that wasn't exotic, wasn't a commodified male fantasy, and one that represented the traits about myself which inspired me to create this website. Something that really represents "this" side of myself. The side of myself that is brilliant and cruel. Artistic, yet misanthropic. Empathic, yet devoid of compassion. If I had to give that part of myself a name, what name should I pick?
When I was 18, I and my best friend spent a year travelling around Europe. We went to all the typical places that any tourist goes-- London, Paris, Berlin and Rome. But we also went to some more out-of-the-way places that don't feature in your typical post-graduation-year European vacation-- Budapest, Bucharest, and Istanbul. Anyway, in Istanbul, there is this BEAUTIFUL huge gigantic building called the "Hagia Sophia". The size of this place can't be over-emphasized. For a long time, it was the largest building in the world. You can see it for miles-- it's AMAZING. And it's dedicated to "Wisdom".
Sophia is the name given to the ancient Judeo-Christian personification of Wisdom. It's a Greek name for Wisdom, but it's typically applied to a Jewish and Christian imagining of Wisdom. And I just loved that there was this universal ancient understanding that Wisdom is inherently feminine. That wisdom, as opposed to mere cleverness, is an inherently female trait. Even in the patriarchal cultures of the ancient Greeks, Jews, and Christians, the men couldn't hide their understanding that Wisdom and Femininity were somehow linked.
Wisdom is not mere intelligence. Wisdom is something beyond that-- it incorporates "feminine intuition". Wisdom includes the "ability to discern inner qualities and relationships". Wisdom is universally loved, universally desired. She is difficult to acquire-- everyone pursues her, but few acquire her. Wisdom is the ultimate power. Strength is no match for Wisdom. Wisdom is cruel and heartless-- wisdom causes great pain.
"For Sophia causes much grief,
and the pursuit of Sophia greatly increases sorrow."
Book of Ecclesiastes
"For Sophia is better than jewels,
and all that you may desire cannot compare with Her"
Book of Proverbs
"A man has no hope of attaining Wisdom until he recognizes that he is no longer indispensable"
Richard Byrd
